Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly at first. 

There is so much to learn and know, it’s daunting. At least for me. Every day I feel like I gain ground, but the ground ahead always seems uncertain and sometimes even distant. It’s times like these that I have to do a gut check and remind myself that self-development isn’t a destination; it’s constant sharpening and shaping. Today, let’s go back to the mats and spar this one out again.

What are you good at?

It all starts with an area in your life that you want to develop to the level of excellence. Once we find this area, it’s our job to channel all of our energies into developing that one area or group of areas in our lives. It’s what my business partner and I call the “slow walk.” Once we get in the zone we focus so intently on just getting that done it almost is in slow motion. It’s so we don’t make mistakes. It doesn’t always work and I’ve realized that sometimes it’s not the area (in general) that we are missing, but it might be one skill within an area that we are lacking that holds us back from the real successes and gains we could be making.

Think about a manager that is a great communicator, has tons of emotional IQ, is super organized, perfectly honest, but this manager just can’t delegate tasks well. The fact that he/she can’t delegate will be the primary thing that holds them back in their career, especially since delegation is likely one of the top skills in the area of management. This manager might be let go simply for this reason.

We can’t have an area in our life that we are working on be held back because we overlooked one component that, we should work on, we could work on, but we won’t, don’t, or tell ourselves we can’t. Even worse is we decide to give up on that area because of it.

How do we fix this?

Once you know where your area of excellence is, break it up into the key skills that you need for that area in your life. Since I’m working on self-development, let’s look at some of the skills within this area:

Key skills for Self-Development

  • Self-confidence
  • Communication
  • Organization
  • Problem Solving
  • Adaptability
  • Integrity
  • Work Ethic

I know when I look at a list like this, the areas where I’m weakest will call to me like a little baby. “Help me, help me!”, and I’ll tell you, the area that I see on this list I pulled from Indeed: is integrity. Ugh.

It’s not that I’m going around being dishonest or stealing from others here. It’s about being dishonest to myself sometimes and not living up to the promises that I’m making to myself. It’s the projects I’ve started and haven’t finished. It’s the exaggeration I sometimes get caught up within my head when I’m trying to stay grounded. Integrity is that 100/0 responsibility that we take–I thought about this a lot yesterday.

This is what I wrote about integrity and 100/0 in my journal:

“Sometimes I fake 100/0. I say it, I think I mean it, but I don’t feel it. When I am 100/0ing everything my confidence soars, I’m proud of my choices, I feel bulletproof and am.

100/0 isn’t something you do like a task. It is a collection of emotions that I harness to create the character that I’m searching for within. Taking responsibility for who I am becoming.

You feel 100/0, you don’t do 100/0.

When I feel 100/0, it’s my phalanx in the tough fights, my ultimate weapon.”

Pay the price.

It’s important to pay the price once we know what it will cost to fix something like my problem with integrity. Just like paying the check on time. Luckily, I’ve found a simple system that I use to attack these sorts of issues, you can use this in any area in your life as well to “pay the price”:

  1. Read up on the skill you’re trying to be better at every day.
  2. Listen to audiobooks and marinate your mind about your skill.
  3. Attend workshops, seminars, Facebook groups–get around others working on this skill.
  4. Practice what you are learning.
  5. Go teach it to someone else.

No one is smarter or better than you. Why? Because all business skills, all skills can be learned. Put this in your mind and believe it.

No one is smarter or better than you because you can learn more, be more, and do more than the next guy/gal can’t you? Of course, you can.

Alright friends. Decide today that you are going to be in the top 10% of your area, industry, or practice. Use your gut and intuition to figure out the skill that might be holding you back. Your weakest skill is going to be the ceiling that holds you back, so make sure that all of the skills in your area of excellence are at the same level. Be honest with yourself, and then test that honesty with those around you. Ask your spouse about what you’re good at, and also ask what they think is your weakest link, ask co-workers, colleagues, friends, it’s scary but you have to do it sometimes if you aren’t sure.

Don’t be afraid. Take your courage, then believe in yourself and your talents. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly at first, that’s the whole point. We’ll get better.

Have a great day! Let’s harness this day and make it work for us. Love to you all.

Featured Photo by yns plt on Unsplash